The Girl with the Normal Tattoo

So what that Marc Jacobs hired some "full-figured" models (read: 34C) for his Louis Vuitton show in Paris - you know, size 4 chubs like Elle Macpherson and Laetitia Casta. If you saw any of the other runway shows for the fall 2010 collections, you would see that most of the models were a bonny prepubescent 14 that looked like walking ghosts. Is it that the bodies should be so minimal that the clothes quite literally hang on the models as they would on a hanger? Is it a combined Lolita/death/sex fetish? Kim Noorda, the 22-year-old Dutch model, chronicled her weight struggles in the April 2010 VOGUE annual Shape Issue. She had obviously been told to lose weight at the beginning of her career (when she was 14, shocker!) because that whole "healthy" look just would not work for anyone's standards in the current fashion industry, and then she plummeted from there: became obsessed, lost too much weight, was booked for every show but had no energy and was miserable. VOGUE, under new CFDA rules, kind of suggested that she get "healthier," but by then it was too late, she had an eating disorder, and it ultimately slowed her career. Now she is 23, due to retire in five years or less, and then what is she going to do? Can a body make a lasting career?

Yes, argues not only Anna Wintour but Christie's, the auction house on high (or rather, Rockefeller Center). A body can make a lasting career out of selling a different kind of collection: fine art. Someone I know just accepted a full-time position at Christie's, and informed me over dinnerdrinks that Christie's "strongly recommends" (requires) their employees to join a gym, and Christie's will essentially subsidize the membership so that the employee only pays around $20 a month, or less. Another intern I know at the auction house witnessed a gym fair the other day in the offices, like a club fair or a job fair but with Clif Bars and Vitamin Waters. Why is this necessary, you may ask? I mean, other companies have perks, but nearly fully paid gym memberships to David Barton?

This gracious bonus is not meant to be taken lightly. If Christie's is paying for the membership, then everyday after dealing Picassos for millions of dollars you are taking off your Zanotti's and getting yo ass to Sport LA or whatever that one is in Rock Center. Because one can never be too rich or too thin in the art world. Models don't have to be real people; they just have to be skinny enough to not distract the eye when displaying the designs. The arty/artistic yet business-savvy leaders of tomorrow are the ones that have to develop the outfit, make it a reality off of the performance art-style runway. These are the people - the ones who make art accessible and profitable to the world at large (WASPs, dynasties, royalty, socialites, starchitects, the Coppolas) - who need to match the sample sizes to bring "fashion" to the world at large (see above) as well. One cannot be an expert on ahhhht unless one dresses like s/he can own it as well. And the fitter you are, the better equipped you are to survive in a jungle of phenomenology and appraisal. How else could one be taken seriously unless one is his/her own (sculpted) work of art?

In other news, it is summer, it is so hot that some of us stay in bars until 4am just for the AC, but everyone is wearing short sleeves and tanks. A prominent TA in the library this morning, I noticed because of the change in wardrobe, has a tattoo. Not a colorful flexy mermaid or "Wino Forever" or anything, but a simple pseudo-chain-like design encircling her upper arm. Is this allowed in the art history world? Does Christie's do a background check, regular drug tests, and tattoo searches? I pondered this girl's career trajectory as I thought of how, in any case, the ahhhht was on a noticeably toned, slender upper arm. So her career is probably not in shambles.

Enjoy your afternoons, and don't worry: even if you don't belong to a gym, you are probably sweating off your body weight in the heat right now.

GA