The Black Hole

I did mention yesterday that this post would be quite literally myopic, but first, a rant.

Avery is antiquarian. We all know this, and that's why we go there. We like to smile at each other when you show, not scan, your ID, we like the creeks of the wooden chairs upstairs and the 1970s, everything-is-burnt-orange chairs downstairs, and how it's quiet, like how libraries really did used to be. And then, of course, the old books. It's all very cute. But here's the thing: some things that you are accustomed to having every second of your day, all your immediately gratifying habits, are not going to cut it here. You will never have four full bars of internet connection; if you have AT&T you will never have service downstairs; you will never be able to add more money to your flex card; AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PRINT.

I'm so sick of people sauntering over to the Reserves desk, miming politeness but really just being a smart ass, and announcing "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, did you know that, I think one of the printers isn't working." THE PRINTERS ARE NEVER WORKING. When, WHEN have you been to Avery when the printers are working?! They will always be out of ink (even when they aren't), they will always claim to have paper jams, they will never recover once they have been restarted, and they will never print double-sided. NEVER. Daily do I receive these complaints, and daily does someone come over to try to fix them before heading over to the copiers (there is a trick to working the copiers - that's another day), and it is just a waste of manpower. Avery refuses to become a part of the 21st century, let alone the 20th, but remember, that is why you love it. So STOP trying to print there. Go to Butler. Go to the third floor of the Diana/Vag/Nexus. Wait for someone to scan you in to that printing lab in Lerner. This is a fool-me-once sort of scenario, and if you think that today is the day that you are going to be able to print out your 150-page JStor article on avery200a or avery200b, then you are just stupid. Believe me, I will be the first to let you know if this situation changes. If you are going to be REALLY persistent, always send the print job to 200b first because that one is less moody.

I've enjoyed this rant so much that I don't, in fact, think I will follow it up talking about everyone's glasses frames tonight. I also need to read a lot of articles for Prof P's class tomorrow. Speaking of, where is Prof B this semester? I don't think Brownie's can stay open without his patronage (not that he ever has to pay for anything, I'm sure).

The heat's been working, so I'm sure I'll see you around tomorrow.

GA.